His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
