Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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