i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
