Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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