Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
