So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
