Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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