she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dick very happy bro
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
