I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How does one acquire holy water?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
