Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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