Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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