I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
