can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
