Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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