Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
