i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
