just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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