I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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