He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
