i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
