i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
