Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
