Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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