okay pat passed out under dana's car
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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