I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
