He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
