Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
