I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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