i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
