We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
