He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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