Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
