I CAN MOONWALK!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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