you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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