I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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