Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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