found the other keg... it's in the tree
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
