it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
