in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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