smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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