so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
