All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Randomize
