the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just cropdusted the office
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
