KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
