that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
