Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
