either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
