you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
