I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Randomize
