her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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